A Better Christmas

As a counselling service we are very busy around this time of year. For so many, Christmas isn’t a time of good will for mankind and love for all.  It can bring up a lot of emotional hurt, sadness and depression.

Fortunately there are some things you can do to reclaim Christmas as a time of happiness for you.

When everyone around us is celebrating, many others are trying to deal with emotional challenges that come with Christmas.  Dealing with your biological family can trigger strong guilt if you don’t attend family functions, or you can feel a deep sense of abandonment if you have been rejected by your family.  If you’ve lost a loved one, this is the time of year that can activate the grief again.  The number one rule with this is to make sure you take time out to feel sad and then get back to enjoying yourself.

Depression around Christmas can often be driven by a belief that you are alone, that you’ll never have close family and that you are somehow worthless.  The trick is to identify the thoughts that come from the beliefs and challenge them.  Write them down in detail and come back to them later as though you are a friend who is asking you questions such as “Where is the evidence?”, “Where are these thoughts going to get you?”, and “Where is the logic in them?”.

If you end up on your own over Christmas, you can still make it about love... love of yourself. Do something wonderful and self indulgent which shows that you value yourself. If it’s possible try to catch up with people who you feel close to on the day or Boxing Day. Prioritizing your needs at Christmas is much more important than going through unnecessary torment.